Well, I do believe it has been more than 2 months since my last blog...oops! Finally, I'm in the mood again. Since my trip to Asia, I have just been too pooped to write...well, write outside of OMS, that is.
This one is gonna be short...but sweet, I hope. I had a really crummy day at work today. Nothing went right, I felt like I was spinning my wheels, things that should have been simple were not, I'm having a personal conflict with someone that I've tried and tried to resolve but to no avail, etc. You get it...just one of those crummy days. I guess more than anything, I was feeling defeated, like..."why do I even bother!?" On my way home, I began to pray...my first real heartfelt prayer since waking up. I just spewed to God how crummy my day had been, how frustrated I was... Then, I took the martyr route one step further, saying, "What am I even doing for the kingdom, Lord? Why am I wasting time and money to post books to the website and edit receipt letters and other seemingly mundane and insignificant things?!"
Then, I had one of those chilling God moments where He speaks so clearly, you KNOW it is Him. I had the Christian radio station on, but I really wasn't listening...I was too busy complaining. Well, then I shut up for a moment and a song I'd heard dozens of times came on...I even began to half sing with it...then I almost slammed on my brakes. Why? I actually listened to the words...words I had NEVER realized were sung before...maybe they weren't and they really were just for ME at the time I needed to hear it.
Anyway, as I listened, I just began to smile and weep with joy at God's goodness. The words to the songs were basically (although drastically paraphrased and I can't even search it cuz don't know name or artist)...if you're a mom and you're worn out or if you're a worker who works but don't know for what reason, do everything for my glory.
Bam! I was suddenly filled with joy because it doesn't really matter what I do...the good things, the big things, the small things, the seemingly insignificant things...I knew I just needed to do EVERYTHING for His glory. My whole attitude changed and instead of coming home as a tired, grumpy mom and wife, I was happily singing and had a skip in my step. Patrick said, "You must have had a good day at work." I happily relied, "Nope, it was really horrible."
