Life Is Precious

I have a good life. I am blessed. I don't take one day for granted. I know our days are numbered. It seems that death, sickness and challenges surround me/us these days.

I have a coworker whose adult son died last week of a heart attack. Another coworker's son was just diagnosed with cancer. My bestie has leukemia...and now so does her son. A friend was just diagnosed with breast cancer on Monday. 

Tomorrow my dad finds out when/if he'll have the surgery to "disconnect" his heart electrodes and live 100% dependent on a pacemaker. He ponders mortality and eternity every day as he lives a less than full life these days. It's hard to watch your parents grow old. It's hard to grow old...although I don't fight it.

Whitney Houston died, and the world can't stop talking about it, but I think it's OK, especially if it makes people think about mortality and eternity. I hope so.

I'm reading the "it" book right now, Heaven Is for Real. It's making me think a lot more deeply than I thought I would...about death. about life. about God. about sharing Jesus.

I know about pain. emotional. spiritual. physical. I lived with chronic back pain for more than two years. Today, I battle pancreatitis. I had been asymptomatic for 1 1/2 years, but at the New Year, the pain returned. Tests says it's not pancreatitis...yay...but we don't know what it is. So, I live with abdominal pain every day...for now...for such a time as this.

It's frustrating, but it's OK. It makes me appreciate every day. And it makes me always talk to, question and trust the Lord. That's a good thing.

My list could go on with people losing jobs, struggling to pay bills and others just generally unhappy and uncertain about what tomorrow holds.

Me? I know what holds tomorrow...and WHO holds it.

So, I live life trying to please Him.

I'm so privileged to be Patrick's wife. I'm an awful wife, mind you...selfish and arrogant, but I love him deeply, and I try really hard. And the stuff I do well, I do really well! He's such a good man...and a natural evangelist. He wants to be, rather, he needs to be in full time Christian service. But I lack faith. How will we afford insurance with my medical history? Oh, God, help me trust!The day is coming soon though, I think.

And wow, the awesome responsibility to be the mom of C & R blows me away at times. I don't take it lightly. But a great mama, I am not. I lack patience and am much too demanding. But I am learning, and they NEVER question if I love them. I am grateful for the privilege of teaching them God's Word...to walk in His ways...but even with that I struggle. I scream and yell at them to memorize their Scripture verses. Duh!? How moronic is that?

My ministry with One Mission Society could not be more fulfilling. Get this, I actually LIKE going to work. I always feel so bad for people that sing the TGIF tune. Why do I enjoy it so much? Because I realize that the part I play (although remote and small in the grand scheme of things) is important...and it IS part of fulfilling the Great Commission. Last year alone, as a result of OMS ministries (and by God's grace), more than 700,000 people made decisions for Christ...and these were not just counted hands in the air at a big conference. Each soul was followed up, discipled, trained...each decision was real.

Yes, I have my own set of worries and struggles, but for me, the phrase, "God is good, all the time," is not a cliche. I believe it, even when I don't feel it. Life is precious. I don't want one precious minute of it to be wasted.

This post is dedicated to my friend, Jodi McKenna, in honor of her imperfections and her encouragement.

A Few of My Favorite Things

It's been a while since I blogged...do you know why I don't blog much? Do you think it is because I'm too busy? I am busy, but no, that's not why. Do you think it's because I don't have any interesting stories to tell? Nope, I got 'em by the truckload. Confession...it's because I'm a perfectionist and struggle with not blogging perfectly the thought I want to express. After all, I am supposed to be a writer. So many people have begged me to write a book or two. I want to, but my anal, perfectionist, OCD tendencies prevent me. I'm trying to overcome it with the Lord's help...and to just blog for the great cathartic results I get and not to try to impress or humor...just get the ideas, jumbled as they are on "paper."

So, this is what's on my mind today...naming my favorite things. Why? I'm sad. My best friend found out that her son has leukemia today. Daniel is like a third child to me. I hurt for him and for his family. This is going to be a hard journey. So, instead of fixing my mind on the sadness, I have prayed much and now I am ready to praise through shouting out my favorite things. These are things that bring me joy...gifts from God, family, friends and life...

I'm not going to be as lyrical or rhymy as Maria, eg raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens, but these things make me happy, bring me joy, make me smile...and I need that today.

DIET COKE, of course, in a large styrofoam cup from McDonalds, from a fountain, for sure;

Red licorice strings; a handful of red hots swishing around in my mouth; watching big, white snowflakes fall from the sky (even better witnessing Trinidadian family members who've never seen snow look up at it in wonder and dance around in joy); watching my daughter's face at Disney World when she saw the castle for the first time...and she got tears in her eyes (and she's not a princess fan), thanked me for bringing her and saying, "This place really is magical, Mommy."

A juicy steak cooked to perfection on the grill; a great episode of Castle; when my husband spontaneously laughs loud and strong...doesn't happen often, but when it does, it's precious; having a 100% clean house and sitting and looking at it with pride and joy; listening to my incredible son ask me about my day and hugging me hard when he knows it was crummy; watching Christmas lights twinkle while sitting in a dark room; smelling homemade bread and cookies baking in the oven, with the delicious smells permeating the whole house; staying on track with my Bible-in-a-year reading plan and really learning new stuff and enjoying doing it with my girl;

a clean desk at work; playing games on Facebook which easily relaxes and decompresses me; scrapbooking with friends; looking at those same completed scrapbooks with my kids and reliving the memories; reading a great book, esp. if it's about medieval Scotland; having lip balm at my fingertips wherever I am; living in a free country; watching a great movie, with a big bowl of popcorn; angel food cake; anything with mint or toffee in it; hanging out with my extended family and playing games (this past New Year's eve was awesome!)

the color purple; a new purse; the Container Store or any other organizationy kind of store/supplies; pasta; pixie stix, esp. the red ones; The Amazing Race; Jeremy Camp's "Give Me Jesus."

Anything by Fernando Ortega; Tyler Perry; forcing my kids to do their AWANA verses (not so much fun) but seeing them work at it, learn them and really GET IT = priceless; completing a big project at work; having the privilege of serving Jesus...no, really!; hanging with my girlfriends, sharing a meal; a big heaping pile of my mom's mashed potatoes and gravy; my mom's Christmas sugar cookies; ginger snaps; root beer floats; tacos al pastor; sleeping an extra hour either in the morning or with a weekend nap; the smell of freshly cut grass; paying all the monthly bills and having more than $13.82 to last for the next two weeks; the kids carrying their clean clothes upstairs and putting them away; coming home at the end of a long day, dreading having to cook dinner and then, smelling that hubby cooked for us all!

These are a few of my favorite things. I'm happy now...and you know me a little better now too if you made it this far. Oh yeah, I love my friends too, especially those who read my blog and make fun comments! : )

Stay tuned tomorrow for...a few of my most hated things...just kidding, although I could probably come up with a few of those too. Happy New Year 2012!

Rejoicing in Death

Morbid title...nope. Last week, my coworker Pat died unexpectantly. Ever since, I've been thinking a lot about death. Not unusual, I don't think. The same thing happened when my neighbor died almost one year ago. It hits you so hard. Now, I'm thinking about death and my own dad.

My dad has had several heart attacks and many heart procedures over the last few years. His latest problem is that his heart is out of rhythm...and there's no hope, outside a miracle, that it will be fixed. He's already been shocked back into rhythm dozens of times and just two months ago, he had an experimental procedure that if it worked could have fixed it. It didn't. Now, he lives with whacked out blood pressure, rapid pulse, dizziness and horrible lethargy. Basically, his quality of life stinks.

This makes me think about death. Can you really prepare for someone's death? And...can we rejoice in death? Yes, we can. In the case of Pat...I know she is with the Lord. She loved and served him for more than 50 years. She was sickly, old beyond her years and nearly deaf ever since I've known her. Now, she is in the presence of the Lord...healthy, happy and hearing. I rejoice in that thought.

The good thing in all this thinking is that it makes me want to be with the Lord too. But until that day, it makes me want to make sure I am right with Him, ensure that I am teaching my kids Truth and that I am sharing the Truth of the Gospel with those who have yet to hear or receive. He IS real! And He is coming back again. Join me in getting our "houses" in order.

It's about time, huh? For HIS Glory

Well, I do believe it has been more than 2 months since my last blog...oops! Finally, I'm in the mood again. Since my trip to Asia, I have just been too pooped to write...well, write outside of OMS, that is.

This one is gonna be short...but sweet, I hope. I had a really crummy day at work today. Nothing went right, I felt like I was spinning my wheels, things that should have been simple were not, I'm having a personal conflict with someone that I've tried and tried to resolve but to no avail, etc. You get it...just one of those crummy days. I guess more than anything, I was feeling defeated, like..."why do I even bother!?" On my way home, I began to pray...my first real heartfelt prayer since waking up. I just spewed to God how crummy my day had been, how frustrated I was... Then, I took the martyr route one step further, saying, "What am I even doing for the kingdom, Lord? Why am I wasting time and money to post books to the website and edit receipt letters and other seemingly mundane and insignificant things?!"

Then, I had one of those chilling God moments where He speaks so clearly, you KNOW it is Him. I had the Christian radio station on, but I really wasn't listening...I was too busy complaining. Well, then I shut up for a moment and a song I'd heard dozens of times came on...I even began to half sing with it...then I almost slammed on my brakes. Why? I actually listened to the words...words I had NEVER realized were sung before...maybe they weren't and they really were just for ME at the time I needed to hear it.

Anyway, as I listened, I just began to smile and weep with joy at God's goodness. The words to the songs were basically (although drastically paraphrased and I can't even search it cuz don't know name or artist)...if you're a mom and you're worn out or if you're a worker who works but don't know for what reason, do everything for my glory.

Bam! I was suddenly filled with joy because it doesn't really matter what I do...the good things, the big things, the small things, the seemingly insignificant things...I knew I just needed to do EVERYTHING for His glory. My whole attitude changed and instead of coming home as a tired, grumpy mom and wife, I was happily singing and had a skip in my step. Patrick said, "You must have had a good day at work." I happily relied, "Nope, it was really horrible."

Impressions

Impressions of Thailand

I like Thailand. It is a beautiful country...a bit too hot and humid for my liking, but a nice country. The number one thing that I have been surprised at...people don't gawk at me like I'm a green alien from another planet. Every other country I've ever visited where I do not look like the majority of the people living there, I am stared at, leered at and have even been poked and prodded. Here no one even gives this giant white skinned, light haired chick a second notice...kinda nice, but not what I expected. I wonder if Bangkok sees so many foreigners that the people are just immune to it or if they are just such a polite culture they don't do it. The city itself is fairly clean for a city this size. The people seem to take a pride in keeping the trash off the streets and graffiti off the walls. Of course, I am NOT in the slums, mind you.

An interesting note that would make the hairs on the neck of any FDA worker stand on end...there are street vendors by the dozens here, selling clothes, magazines, candies and food. The food stands are very similar to what I have witnessed around Latin America--the whole animal, strung up by hind feet, flapping in the winds to roast in this tropical humidity. Then, if you can brave eating at the stands, you might want to ask for yours on a disposable plate. I noticed the plates they serve the food on are scraped in the ally, dunked in a giant trash can with dirty cold water, then wiped with a rag and placed back on the stack for the next hungry customer....yummmm.

We are staying at a missionary guest house, so our meals have been quite good...some a bit too spicy for my taste, but I appreciate the fact that I have yet to sneak into my stash of granola bars or beef jerky.

Yesterday, I was able to sneak away from one of the sessions (you see I'm not here in the role of conference attendee, I'm here to document the stories...more on that below...). I walked down the street to a massage place, with references! The Thai people are known for their great massages. I had an hour-long massage. I wish I could report that it was wonderfully relaxing, but then you'd be mad that I was on a mission trip getting a massage. So, you can rest assured, knowing that it was quite painful. They are into the deep tissue massages here, the kind where you beg for mercy but the petite Thai girl just giggles and bows because she has no clue what you are saying. I tried to grunt and groan enough to get the message across, but with little effect. They pulled and pushed and twisted and stomped until I actually said, sorry gotta go, no time to finish. Today, my body feels bruised all over. I was drinking about a gallon of water a day to keep hydrated in the heat, but today I'm doubling it to keep my muscles from cramping.

But I digress from why I am really here...to date, we (Jessica, my ministry partner and I) have interviewed, photographed and videotaped 31 people, and we still have 11 to go. It has been exhausting, but what a privilege to hear their stories. We are capturing stories of God at work in AMAZING ways. Here's one summarized story from India. The OMS Every Community for Christ national team was out evangelizing. They came across a M faith cleric. This man held the position of memorizing the entire K book and reciting it. Long story short, he came to accept and believe in the living Christ Jesus. Now, he is a believer in the One true God and he has memorized the entire Bible! He is using these skills to share Christ with other M clerics...and it is being effective. Pray for him and our team in India.

I'm hearing those kinds of stories all day long and giving God all the glory, but I am also humbled by some of the stories. Some of these church planters are enduring much to share the Gospel. One man from M shared how they only have electricity one hour a day in his village. He must decide if he will get warm water, watch TV or do some of this statistical reporting on his computer to send to us. Another man shared how he is pastoring 4 churches and overseeing an evangelistic coffee house. Nearly all the people here are bivocational, meaning they must have regular secular jobs in addition to their ministries because there is not enough funds to pay them a salary. For some, they must travel far distances to do their ministry. Another church planter from M asked that I share that his pastors, church planters and evangelists need bicycles. And finally, most of them endure some form of persecution for their work of the Gospel. Please pray for them. Again, I am so humbled by them and their work...and so grateful to a God who is so active and present.

Finally, I ask that you pray for my next leg of this trip. In two days, I leave for a security risk country in South Asia. It will be even hotter that here, with NO AC, and the accommodations will be simple. We will be sleeping under mosquito netting, and I will probably not have Internet access. But I will be seeing these stories and miracles first hand as we visit training centers, womens' ministries, a baptism (I've been asked to help baptize the women), an orphanage, a micro-credit business/ministry and much more. I am very excited to witness what God is doing in South Asia...up close! Pray for us...and I hope to chat with you again soon.

Stories, Stories, Stories

As I am still at the beginning of this journey, I don't have lots of stories to tell as yet, but that is still my theme because that is what this trip is about...collecting stories about what God is doing around the Asian world. Although our first scheduled interview is not until later this afternoon, already I have collected at least three other stories that need to be told...but I'll get back to that.

First, I want to share in the fun of a 36-hour travel adventure. On Thursday morning, I had to be at the airport by 4:30 a.m., so I made the silly decision to NOT go to bed at all on Wed. night. I thought, it'll help me sleep better on the plane. Our first flight from Indy to Washington D.C. went without a hitch until landing...then, it seemed we had a bit of trouble stopping, but all was well. Once we deboarded, we found out our wheel had broken, so we'd need to be rerouted on another plane to NY. That didn't happen, so we ended up flying back to Detriot...yes, pretty much a little circle. We got to Detroit, no problem, then readied ourselves for the 13-hour (yes, you read that correctly,,,13 hours!) flight from Detroit to Tokyo, Japan. It felt like 13 hours. We were in a huge plane that sat 10 passengers across. My two traveling companions and I were unfortunately in 3 of the 4 middle seats in the center of the plane...right in front of the movie screen, which made for good viewing, but also did not make for great sleeping because the screen was so bright. The seats were so close together, I literally had to sit with my arms pulled in the whole time...can you say CRAMP!

I'm usually a person that never wants to wish my life away...even in the midst of tough times, I want to learn and grow in the midst of the experience, but it would have been fine with me if I could have blinked and the genie could have whisked me directly to Bangkok at that point.

Once we landed in Tokyo, there was NO time to kill...or stretch our legs before our next flight took off for Bangkok. This was another 6-hour flight! At least the plane was not so full, so we could stretch out a bit more. We finally landed in Bangkok, made it through customs, got our luggage and found a taxi to the missionary guest house where we're staying. Really things could not have got much more smoothly. I am grateful. Since then, my major issue has been with the heat--for me, that has been tougher to deal with than the jet lag, tiredness and the slight scare I had with eating some pizza on our first full night here that must have had some seafood on it because my throat got a bit tight, but not enough to use one of my precious 2 Epi pens. Still hoping I bought these for nothing, if you know what I mean!

It's been in the 90s with HIGH humidity. We don't get along well at all. I basically slept nothing last night because it's so hard to sleep when you are drenched in sweat. But today I began to hear the stories, and that makes me excited to be here. This one is from our field leader in Japan, Steve. He was in Tokyo when the earthquake and tsunami hit 3 weeks ago. This has rocked the world of him and his whole team, but he said that the team has never felt so close and worked so well together. Sometimes, I think, it takes challenges to face together to bring us truly together.

Steve went on to tell how he was going to fulfill his commitment to the senior class of CAJ, our MK school in Tokyo, by taking them on their senior class trip to Thailand. This is just 2 weeks from the devastating earthquake, but they felt it was important. Well, as many of you might have heard, there was another earthquake a few days ago on the borders of Myanmar and Thailand...just 6 miles from where Steve and the seniors were! Talk about traumatic experiences...to go through the huge one in Japan, with all its aftershocks as well, and then to experience it less than two weeks later again...in another country! But Steve said the students were calm and cool, and they were actually able to help others around them. I'll be writing this story out in full once we get home. Until then, I'm excited to hear dozens more about how God is working and using OMS people to change lives around the world every day. So honored to be able to tell the stories...

Traveling

Well, in approximately 27 hours I will be leaving home for the next 16 days. I'm heading to Asia--Thailand and South Asia (can't identify the country for security reasons). This will be the longest I've been away from my kids and definitely the farthest.

I'm a mixed bag of emotions--very excited to see this part of the world, to take pictures and video and to write stories about what God is doing throughout Asia, but I'm also feeling a bit nervous and anxious. My health has not been stellar in the past few years (pancreatitis, diabetes/high triglycerides and IBS issues), so going to the third world is not an exciting prospect in regard to stomach issues and food allergies...I'm allergic to seafood. Also, our world is currently in chaos with wars, earthquakes, etc...even in the areas where I'm heading.

But still, I know that God goes before me. He has everything under control...

I sometimes laugh at myself that I chose to become a missionary. I don't enjoy traveling anymore. I don't want to leave my family. I'm anxious about all the work that will pile up in my absence. And I'm writing this blog to avoid packing because it nearly makes me hyperventilate just doing it. You see, I'm OCD/ADD, so packing is a real struggle. I want it to be perfect, and I easily get distracted from the task and want to do everything else in the midst of packing...eg. as I go to my closet to get something, I decide NOW is the time to rearrange my clothes hangars by color codes or as I go to get some paperwork from the counter, I end up going through all the paperwork. I don't ever want to travel without leaving my house immaculate. Not sure why that always happens, but even when we leave for a camping trip, Patrick is usually honking the horn for me as I wash up that last glass in the sink. It's an illness that "pert near" kills me on each trip.

So, pray for me in these next hours, please--that I can complete all that I need to, then...let go and let God...

I anticipate an incredible journey, with many stories to tell. I'm hoping to be able to blog some of my experiences while "on the road," so look for updates from me in the coming days.