Tuesday, August 11, 2020

Bittersweet Empty-Nester


As I talk to other moms, I realize that some are excited about the empty nest (time to celebrate!). Others are so sad, thinking about missing their kid(s) and being lonely. If I had not prepared myself well, I would definitely be in that second camp. 

I have unashamedly poured everything into my kids and their journeys for the past 20 years. At times, sadly, I have even found my identity through them and their accomplishments (not good).

As I prepare to send my girl off to university (boy is starting his third year) and realize this is it, I will officially be an empty nester, it's bittersweet ... but mostly sweet.

Sure, I will have lonely days. I will miss the constant activities and our lives and schedules being filled to the brim with XC, track, basketball, volleyball, band, swimming, soccer, football, choir, show choir, gymnastics, and many other things (yes, my kids actually participated in all these events and more). I will miss the noise in the house ... even the messes and piles of dirty laundry, but mostly, I will miss seeing their sweet faces and watching them grow into incredible humans.

But all is well. We made incredible memories. We lived life to the fullest. We made the moments count. And I have fulfilled (mostly ... I've been told they never really leave, which is good!) my duty as a mom by preparing them for the future (mostly-they can't cook much!) and gently and lovingly booting them out of the nest so they can start their own adult adventures.

They're not perfect! I was not a perfect mom, for sure. (Why did I yell so much?!) But God has blessed our lives, our family, and I have no regrets. I cherish these past two decades so much. 

So now, I look forward (but never forgetting the wonderful past or remembering to live in the moment of the everyday joys now-yes, even in the midst of a pandemic, joy CAN be found!) to seeing how God shapes them, how they maneuver through trials, and how they make big life decisions. I'm confident they will succeed. I'm confident they know we have their backs. And now, we (hubby and I) just sit back and enjoy the view ... and each other ... and maybe even a grandchild or 5 in the future!


Thursday, October 24, 2019

Not Gonna Wish My Life Away



So many times, we spend much of life looking back and wallowing in or relishing our past (depending on if your view of those days is positive or negative) or moving ahead, focused on what's next, like the next job, finding a spouse, becoming a mom, or going to college. As a senior in high school, that's now Rachel … so excited about her future and playing basketball at Central Michigan University. That's good, but my life mantra keeps popping up, and it's a good message for her, for me, and for all of us, I think. ENJOY THE MOMENT!

It's good to remember the past so that we can learn from our mistakes and be thankful for what God has done for us. And looking forward is also great because that's how dreams are fulfilled by being excited about what's yet to be discovered and explored before us.

But in the midst of looking back or being too future focused, we cannot forget to embrace every developing season of life and live and enjoy the moment we are in NOW to the fullest.

That's what I tell Rachel. Celebrate every day of your senior year. Enjoy the relative lack of responsibility, the ability to make close friendships, the memories of sports and activities. You'll never get those days back.

Perhaps there's wisdom for each of us in this, no matter what stage of life we're in. The days are more joyous when I am not wishing them away.




Wednesday, May 17, 2017

Eyes On the Prize

A couple weekends ago, our family was at a basketball tournament. I know, no big surprise, right? As you know, Rachel is interested in playing basketball in college, so we're always hoping she plays well when just the right scout/coach is watching her.

That particular day, there was a whole row of scouts sitting right beside our court ... with their BACKS to the court that Rachel and her team were playing on. They had their eyes on older girls playing on the court behind us. 

In my mind, I kept thinking, "Turn around! You're missing the prize right in front of you!"

As I have reflected on this for the last couple weeks, I've wondered what prize I've missed that's been right in front of me all along. It's made me be more intentional about living in the moment; enjoying every good gift God gives to us.

Nothing could have captured my attention more than meeting with Rachel's orthopedic surgeon last Friday and hearing that she could have a serious infection ... or even cancer based on her most recent MRI. The doctor told us we needed to get more tests.

I'm overjoyed to say that her blood work indicated a few issues, but nothing life threatening. Now we wait, get more tests (another deeper MRI to see more closely how bad the fracture is in her back and an ultrasound to view the cyst on her kidney.) Then, we see what decisions we must make based on those results.

But again, my joy at hearing that her labs were basically clean outweighs it all. It made me realize again how I  must treasure every moment, every celebration, every gift from God! I need to see the prize(s) right in front of me every day. That includes my husband, my kids, my friends and extended family, my ministry and church, and life and my God.

Not everyone gets the "all clear," I know. Not everyone even gets the scares to have that moment of fear. But everyone has one life to live. Join me in making every second count!

Thanks for your love, support, and prayers! 
The Loobies

Tuesday, October 13, 2015

Learning How to Give ... Again

For many years as a single adult Christian, I regularly tithed and gave above and beyond offering gifts. As a newly married couple, we gave generously. And the Lord blessed our lives. Then, one day a few years ago, we began to have financial troubles, and the extra giving from us stopped. 

For the last couple of years, even our tithe has not been a full and true "tithe." I gave excuses and plead my case to the Lord ... you know I'm a missionary, right? You know that in addition to getting a lower salary than most in my field, I also take a cut in pay, right? 

Well, all along this journey, my husband has been graciously waiting for me to "get on board." And so, we've begun giving in faith ... a faith promise between us and the Lord, knowing he always takes care of us. It has been hard! But stretching one's faith always is. But it's also good, knowing and trusting him fully. 

I hope this article encourages you and spurs you on to step out in faith.

How God Taught Me to Give
by Oswald J. Smith

I shall never forget how God taught me to give. I had been pastor of a large church in the city of Toronto. One day I resigned and on the first Sunday of January became pastor of a church which knew how to give in a way I had never known. I started in this pastorate at a time when the church was holding its annual missionary convention.
Now I knew nothing about a missionary convention, I didn’t know the first thing to do. So I just sat on the platform and watched.
The ushers went down the aisles giving out envelopes. To my amazement, one had the audacity to hand me—the pastor!--an envelope. I can still remember that moment as though it were yesterday.
As I held the envelope I read, “In dependence upon God I will endeavor to give toward the missionary work of the church $_____ during the coming year.” I did not know that God was going to deal with me that morning, and teach me a lesson that I was never to forget--a lesson that later I was to teach to hundreds of others.
I started to pray. I said, “Lord God, I can’t do anything. You know I have nothing. I haven’t a cent in the bank. I haven’t anything in my pocket. This church only pays me $25.00 a week. I have a wife and child. We are trying to buy our home; prices are sky high.”
“I know that,” the Lord seemed to answer me. “I know you are getting $25.00 a week. I know you have nothing in your pocket and nothing in the bank.”
‘Well, then,” I said, relieved, “that settles it. I have nothing to give and I can’t give anything.” It was then the Lord spoke to my heart. I shall never forget it.
“I am not asking you for what you have,” He said.
“You are not asking me for what I have, Lord?” I replied. “Then what are You asking?”
“I am asking you for a faith offering. How much can you trust Me for?”
“Oh, Lord,” I exclaimed, “that’s different. How much can I trust You for?”
Of course, I knew nothing about a faith offering. But I knew the Lord was speaking. I thought He might say $5.00, or perhaps even $10.00. I almost trembled as I awaited the answer. Then it came. Now of course God didn’t speak to me in an audible voice, but He might just as well have.
“How much can I give?” I asked.
“Fifty dollars!” I exclaimed. “Why that’s two weeks’ salary!”
But again the Lord spoke and it was still the same amount. It was just as clear to me as though He had spoken out loud.
My hand trembled as I signed my name and wrote in the amount--$50.00.
How I ever paid that amount, I don’t know to this day. All I know is that every month I had to pray for $4.00. And every month God provided it. At the end of the year I had paid $50.00. As I paid the final amount I realized I had received the greatest blessing of my life!
I had trusted God for a certain amount and He had met it. So great was the spiritual blessing that the next year at the convention, I doubled the amount and gave $100.00. Then, at another convention, I doubled the amount again and gave $200.00. At still another convention I doubled it once more and gave $400.00. Then later I doubled it again and made it $800.00. From that day to this I have been increasing the amount and sending it to the Bank of Heaven year by year. If I had waited until I had it, I never would have given it because I never would have received it. I gave a faith offering and God honored it.
That was the first time, I say, that I had ever given what I call a faith offering. The Apostle Paul often took up “faith promise offerings.” He asked a church to promise a certain amount, and gave them a year to pay it. As the year drew to a close, he sent someone to remind the church of their faith promise before he arrived (see 2 Corinthians 9). A faith promise offering is a scriptural offering, it is a Pauline offering, and God blesses it.
Have you only given cash offerings? It requires little faith to give a cash offering. If I have a dollar in my pocket, all I have to do is take it out and put in on the plate. I don’t have to ask God for it. I don’t have to trust Him for any definite amount. I just have it and give it.
But it is entirely different with a faith promise offering. I have to pray and ask God how much He would have me give, then trust Him for it. Month by month I must go to Him in prayer and ask Him for the amount promised. I must wait upon Him until it comes in. What a blessing such dependence brings!
For well over a quarter of a century now, that is the kind of offering I have taken for missions. In our annual missionary convention we never get more than six or seven thousand dollars in cash, but we get a quarter of a million or more in faith promises! And it always comes in! More comes in than the amount promised!
I am not talking about pledges. A pledge offering is between you and a church, between you and a missionary society. Some day the deacons may collect it, or you may receive a letter reminding you of it. You can be held responsible for a pledge offering.
A faith promise offering is between you and God. No official will ever call on you to collect it. No one will ever send you a letter about it. If you are unable to pay it, all you have to do is to tell God about it. Give Him your reason. If He accepts it, you are free.
This, my friend, is the greatest investment you can make. You should make money for Him, use what you need to live on and give as much as you can for the work of evangelization. Put your money where it will accomplish the most for God. Put it into the getting out of the Gospel. Put it into the souls of men. Use it for those who have never heard the message.
Perhaps God would have you support a missionary or Christian organization and then another, and another. Make a faith promise offering unto Him, then trust Him to help you meet it. Immeasurable blessing will be yours.

Tuesday, February 10, 2015

TEEN DRAMA STINKS!

Dear pre-teen daughter,

BFFs stink! Teen drama stinks more!

I know you know this, but it never hurts to hear the truth again from someone who loves you more than her own life.

You see these hands ... they are hands that have cared for and nurtured you for 12 1/2 years. They are a mess right now because of teenage drama and stress, but I'm not in charge. My burden is light because Jesus can carry the weight for us both.


I write this letter to you now to help both of us remember these truths.

Here are my top 10 life lessons (off the top of my head)  I hope you will consider as you grow into a beautiful, godly young woman:

  • "Don't put all your eggs in one basket." Don't ever become too dependent on one person for your value, entertainment, or general happiness in life. Remember your voice ... but use it wisely. 
  • Be kind to everyone. Stay away from exclusive friendships. In your total absorption of each other, you end up leaving others out and hurting feelings along the way. It's never ok to exclude someone for any reason. I've tried to stress that you don't have to be bosom buddies with everyone, but you must be kind to all!
  • In this age of texting and social media, don't post too much, too often. Show self-control and discretion. You can't take those mean words or inappropriate photos back. Words DO hurt. If you would not say something to us, your parents, or announce it on the PA at school, then don't say it in a text or on Instagram. Future coaches and bosses DO look at this stuff. Start a tradition now for being a responsible, without-regrets post-er.
  • Every decision you make, big or small, counts. You can lose your way when you allow a person to have too much influence in your world ... especially when that person is whispering things contrary to what you have been taught and believe. Every decision you make affects your life. There are too many sad stories to learn these lessons from to not take this seriously. Remember ... consequences! Yes, one bad decision can spoil everything. But don't be afraid of making a mistake either. Sometimes the lessons we learn from mistakes are the best ones that help shape our lives for the better. So, just make conscientious choices ... and they are choices! Don't blame the world, your teachers, your coaches, or me for your problems.
  • Always take the high road. Don't be too eager to defend yourself. There really is wisdom when the Bible speaks about "turning the other cheek." Usually, even if you're "right," the situation escalates when you defend yourself, or worse, begin hitting below the belt yourself. Even Jesus often refused to answer the questions of those who were just trying to trip him up rather than catch his message.
  • Begin doing things for other people. Be unselfish ... even self sacrificing. You are wonderful and talented ... and I tell you these things a lot, but you must remember that the world does not revolve around you. You are not entitled to any better treatment than another human being. You are special and loved because you are a child of our King, but not entitled to privileges and benefits simply because you are a teen living in the First World. Develop a backbone (fight for the underdogs), not a wishbone.
  • Treat those you love and who love you with kindness and respect. You won't ever have another set of parents or grandparents, or a brother who adores you so wholeheartedly. Return that love deeply and unconditionally.
  • Don't let a person, peer pressure, or society define who you are. Don't depend on anyone for your happiness. You can't fill a void in your life with a friend, shopping, social media, drugs, or food. Only Jesus can truly fill the empty spaces. Photoshop lies. Scales don't measure the content of your heart. The number of "likes" you have on Twitter doesn't define your popularity, and even your GPA (grades) will soon be forgotten in the grand scheme of life.
  • Someday is now and the someone is you...don't sit back and watch life pass you by. Be a full-on participant and live life to its fullest. Work hard for what you want ... and the rewards of your hard work will bring you incredible joy. Practice like it was a championship game. Do your homework with integrity. Keep your room and your home clean ... as if Jesus were coming to visit tomorrow. And don't let life pass you by while you're checking your phone.
  • You are a light, so don't let the darkness around you dim who you are as a person, as our daughter, and as a child of God. "Therefore do not become partners with them; for at one time you were darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light (for the fruit of light is found in all that is good and right and true" (Eph 5:7-9).
And one final thought, daughter, always remember that you are wholly and completely loved by your mama, your number one fan!

*All these thoughts are not originally mine. Some are. Others are a compilation of articles I've read and conversations I've shared. Most are, I hope, divinely inspired.







Wednesday, June 18, 2014

Giving Until it Hurts ... so Good

I was totally and completely humbles three times ... and that was just today!

At One Mission Society, we talk a lot about Going (serving), Giving, and Praying. I want to share three things that happened today that left me speechless, inspired, happy, and totally humbled.

Praying
First, in the coming days, many OMS mission leaders serving around the world will descend upon our OMS HQ. Today, one early "arriver" stopped in my office to say hello. Then, he blew me away by asking about something personal I asked him to pray for a year ago. That he remembered meant a lot, but knowing him, he's probably also been praying faithfully for me this past year. Wow. I am humbled and want to be a better prayer warrior.

Giving
Second, I'm in the midst of raising more support for my ministry with OMS. I've been raising funds for ministry for the past 25 years, so I should never be surprised by God's provision and people's generosity, but once again, God did it. I received two more faith promises (similar to pledges) for my support. Overall, in past 2 months, I have received as many positive responses as I have in the past several years, so I am wonderfully encouraged that God is providing ... and I am doing what God wants me to.

Serving
And finally, and this is a huge one, I was speechless (hard to do) and inspired by the selfless, generous act of a coworker today. I won't name his name as he'd be embarrassed, but I hope he knows how much he inspired me today.

This man is a new OMS missionary and within just months of being here has had to jump into a HUGE project like no other. He has handled the stress, complaints, and long hours like a saint. But what he did today simply blew me away.

I was so happy to see him late in the day today as I needed his help and had searched for him for hours. When I asked where he'd been all day, he said he'd helped someone in need. This someone was another fellow coworker who had requested help a couple times and apparently no one had responded to her need. I justified not responding because "I" am super busy. "I" have an important job. Surely there were others who could step up to help who were less busy than I.

Yet, this man, probably busier than ANYONE in our building, dropped his own work to drive this coworker to the north side of the city.

I am humbled ... and motivated to step up. To be the hands and feet of Jesus. To stop and look around at the needs around me.

Lord, help us to know when to say no...and when to say yes. Not to use our own excuses, but to respond as you would.

Saturday, May 10, 2014

A Few of My Favorite...and not so Favorite Things

Things I Love:
reading
reading in bed on a rainy day
smell of bread cooking in oven
a newly mowed yard
a newly vacuumed carpet
a clean house
snuggles with kids
my family
Jesus' mercy
peanut butter
sleeping in
watching my kids play sports
watching NFL football
hearing my kids pray
seeing beautiful architecture
writing when it flows well
a good love story
worship in the car--windows down, radio up
back rubs from hubby
red licorice
checking things off my to-do list
getting good medical results
scrapbooking
Mom's sugar cookies
angel food cake
going to the fair with family
a really good steak
napping in a hammock on a breezy day
the smell of babies
camping
mowing on a riding lawn mower
clean teeth

Things I Don't Love So Much:
men in speedos
turtlenecks
socks
sweaters
humidity
pollen
sand
weeds
water/taking showers
allergies
taking long trips
hives and eczema
shots in the mouth
heights
walking up hills
snakes
poison ivy
seafood
money woes
feeling bloated
in
justice
horror movies