BFFs stink! Teen drama stinks more!
I know you know this, but it never hurts to hear the truth again from someone who loves you more than her own life.
You see these hands ... they are hands that have cared for and nurtured you for 12 1/2 years. They are a mess right now because of teenage drama and stress, but I'm not in charge. My burden is light because Jesus can carry the weight for us both.
I write this letter to you now to help both of us remember these truths.
Here are my top 10 life lessons (off the top of my head) I hope you will consider as you grow into a beautiful, godly young woman:
- "Don't put all your eggs in one basket." Don't ever become too dependent on one person for your value, entertainment, or general happiness in life. Remember your voice ... but use it wisely.
- Be kind to everyone. Stay away from exclusive friendships. In your total absorption of each other, you end up leaving others out and hurting feelings along the way. It's never ok to exclude someone for any reason. I've tried to stress that you don't have to be bosom buddies with everyone, but you must be kind to all!
- In this age of texting and social media, don't post too much, too often. Show self-control and discretion. You can't take those mean words or inappropriate photos back. Words DO hurt. If you would not say something to us, your parents, or announce it on the PA at school, then don't say it in a text or on Instagram. Future coaches and bosses DO look at this stuff. Start a tradition now for being a responsible, without-regrets post-er.
- Every decision you make, big or small, counts. You can lose your way when you allow a person to have too much influence in your world ... especially when that person is whispering things contrary to what you have been taught and believe. Every decision you make affects your life. There are too many sad stories to learn these lessons from to not take this seriously. Remember ... consequences! Yes, one bad decision can spoil everything. But don't be afraid of making a mistake either. Sometimes the lessons we learn from mistakes are the best ones that help shape our lives for the better. So, just make conscientious choices ... and they are choices! Don't blame the world, your teachers, your coaches, or me for your problems.
- Always take the high road. Don't be too eager to defend yourself. There really is wisdom when the Bible speaks about "turning the other cheek." Usually, even if you're "right," the situation escalates when you defend yourself, or worse, begin hitting below the belt yourself. Even Jesus often refused to answer the questions of those who were just trying to trip him up rather than catch his message.
- Begin doing things for other people. Be unselfish ... even self sacrificing. You are wonderful and talented ... and I tell you these things a lot, but you must remember that the world does not revolve around you. You are not entitled to any better treatment than another human being. You are special and loved because you are a child of our King, but not entitled to privileges and benefits simply because you are a teen living in the First World. Develop a backbone (fight for the underdogs), not a wishbone.
- Treat those you love and who love you with kindness and respect. You won't ever have another set of parents or grandparents, or a brother who adores you so wholeheartedly. Return that love deeply and unconditionally.
- Don't let a person, peer pressure, or society define who you are. Don't depend on anyone for your happiness. You can't fill a void in your life with a friend, shopping, social media, drugs, or food. Only Jesus can truly fill the empty spaces. Photoshop lies. Scales don't measure the content of your heart. The number of "likes" you have on Twitter doesn't define your popularity, and even your GPA (grades) will soon be forgotten in the grand scheme of life.
- Someday is now and the someone is you...don't sit back and watch life pass you by. Be a full-on participant and live life to its fullest. Work hard for what you want ... and the rewards of your hard work will bring you incredible joy. Practice like it was a championship game. Do your homework with integrity. Keep your room and your home clean ... as if Jesus were coming to visit tomorrow. And don't let life pass you by while you're checking your phone.
- You are a light, so don't let the darkness around you dim who you are as a person, as our daughter, and as a child of God. "Therefore do not become partners with them; for at one time you were darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light (for the fruit of light is found in all that is good and right and true" (Eph 5:7-9).
And one final thought, daughter, always remember that you are wholly and completely loved by your mama, your number one fan!
*All these thoughts are not originally mine. Some are. Others are a compilation of articles I've read and conversations I've shared. Most are, I hope, divinely inspired.
