I have a good life. I am blessed. I don't take one day for granted. I know our days are numbered. It seems that death, sickness and challenges surround me/us these days.
I have a coworker whose adult son died last week of a heart attack. Another coworker's son was just diagnosed with cancer. My bestie has leukemia...and now so does her son. A friend was just diagnosed with breast cancer on Monday.
Tomorrow my dad finds out when/if he'll have the surgery to "disconnect" his heart electrodes and live 100% dependent on a pacemaker. He ponders mortality and eternity every day as he lives a less than full life these days. It's hard to watch your parents grow old. It's hard to grow old...although I don't fight it.
Whitney Houston died, and the world can't stop talking about it, but I think it's OK, especially if it makes people think about mortality and eternity. I hope so.
I'm reading the "it" book right now, Heaven Is for Real. It's making me think a lot more deeply than I thought I would...about death. about life. about God. about sharing Jesus.
I know about pain. emotional. spiritual. physical. I lived with chronic back pain for more than two years. Today, I battle pancreatitis. I had been asymptomatic for 1 1/2 years, but at the New Year, the pain returned. Tests says it's not pancreatitis...yay...but we don't know what it is. So, I live with abdominal pain every day...for now...for such a time as this.
It's frustrating, but it's OK. It makes me appreciate every day. And it makes me always talk to, question and trust the Lord. That's a good thing.
My list could go on with people losing jobs, struggling to pay bills and others just generally unhappy and uncertain about what tomorrow holds.
Me? I know what holds tomorrow...and WHO holds it.
So, I live life trying to please Him.
I'm so privileged to be Patrick's wife. I'm an awful wife, mind you...selfish and arrogant, but I love him deeply, and I try really hard. And the stuff I do well, I do really well! He's such a good man...and a natural evangelist. He wants to be, rather, he needs to be in full time Christian service. But I lack faith. How will we afford insurance with my medical history? Oh, God, help me trust!The day is coming soon though, I think.
And wow, the awesome responsibility to be the mom of C & R blows me away at times. I don't take it lightly. But a great mama, I am not. I lack patience and am much too demanding. But I am learning, and they NEVER question if I love them. I am grateful for the privilege of teaching them God's Word...to walk in His ways...but even with that I struggle. I scream and yell at them to memorize their Scripture verses. Duh!? How moronic is that?
My ministry with One Mission Society could not be more fulfilling. Get this, I actually LIKE going to work. I always feel so bad for people that sing the TGIF tune. Why do I enjoy it so much? Because I realize that the part I play (although remote and small in the grand scheme of things) is important...and it IS part of fulfilling the Great Commission. Last year alone, as a result of OMS ministries (and by God's grace), more than 700,000 people made decisions for Christ...and these were not just counted hands in the air at a big conference. Each soul was followed up, discipled, trained...each decision was real.
Yes, I have my own set of worries and struggles, but for me, the phrase, "God is good, all the time," is not a cliche. I believe it, even when I don't feel it. Life is precious. I don't want one precious minute of it to be wasted.
This post is dedicated to my friend, Jodi McKenna, in honor of her imperfections and her encouragement.
