Giving Until it Hurts ... so Good

I was totally and completely humbles three times ... and that was just today!

At One Mission Society, we talk a lot about Going (serving), Giving, and Praying. I want to share three things that happened today that left me speechless, inspired, happy, and totally humbled.

Praying
First, in the coming days, many OMS mission leaders serving around the world will descend upon our OMS HQ. Today, one early "arriver" stopped in my office to say hello. Then, he blew me away by asking about something personal I asked him to pray for a year ago. That he remembered meant a lot, but knowing him, he's probably also been praying faithfully for me this past year. Wow. I am humbled and want to be a better prayer warrior.

Giving
Second, I'm in the midst of raising more support for my ministry with OMS. I've been raising funds for ministry for the past 25 years, so I should never be surprised by God's provision and people's generosity, but once again, God did it. I received two more faith promises (similar to pledges) for my support. Overall, in past 2 months, I have received as many positive responses as I have in the past several years, so I am wonderfully encouraged that God is providing ... and I am doing what God wants me to.

Serving
And finally, and this is a huge one, I was speechless (hard to do) and inspired by the selfless, generous act of a coworker today. I won't name his name as he'd be embarrassed, but I hope he knows how much he inspired me today.

This man is a new OMS missionary and within just months of being here has had to jump into a HUGE project like no other. He has handled the stress, complaints, and long hours like a saint. But what he did today simply blew me away.

I was so happy to see him late in the day today as I needed his help and had searched for him for hours. When I asked where he'd been all day, he said he'd helped someone in need. This someone was another fellow coworker who had requested help a couple times and apparently no one had responded to her need. I justified not responding because "I" am super busy. "I" have an important job. Surely there were others who could step up to help who were less busy than I.

Yet, this man, probably busier than ANYONE in our building, dropped his own work to drive this coworker to the north side of the city.

I am humbled ... and motivated to step up. To be the hands and feet of Jesus. To stop and look around at the needs around me.

Lord, help us to know when to say no...and when to say yes. Not to use our own excuses, but to respond as you would.

A Few of My Favorite...and not so Favorite Things

Things I Love:
reading
reading in bed on a rainy day
smell of bread cooking in oven
a newly mowed yard
a newly vacuumed carpet
a clean house
snuggles with kids
my family
Jesus' mercy
peanut butter
sleeping in
watching my kids play sports
watching NFL football
hearing my kids pray
seeing beautiful architecture
writing when it flows well

a good love story
worship in the car--windows down, radio up
back rubs from hubby
red licorice
checking things off my to-do list
getting good medical results
scrapbooking
Mom's sugar cookies
angel food cake
going to the fair with family
a really good steak
napping in a hammock on a breezy day
the smell of babies
camping
mowing on a riding lawn mower
clean teeth

Things I Don't Love So Much:
men in speedos
turtlenecks
socks
sweaters
humidity
pollen
sand
weeds
water/taking showers
allergies
taking long trips
hives and eczema
shots in the mouth
heights
walking up hills
snakes
poison ivy
seafood
money woes
feeling bloated
in
justice
horror movies

Are You a Leader or Follower?

As I drove into the McDonald's parking lot this morning, I almost gave up and drove on when I saw the line backed up to the road. What was going on? It wasn't even rush hour.

My curiosity (and my desire for a Diet Coke before I give it up again for a month) got the better of me. So, I creeped along in the line...edging my way up to the drive-thru window ever so slowly.

Then, I noticed why there was a back up. Customers were only using one of the two lanes. I wondered why. Once I got close enough, I thought I'd see a sign saying "out of order" or something along those lines. No sign.

Yet, all the cars continued to follow the lead car into the one lane. Hummm?

So, when I got close enough, I inched my way into the line no one had been using with fear and trepidation. My heart was actually racing. I felt like a rebel. Then I thought, stop being stupid, Susan! All that could happen is they could say it's out of order or be silent and not be able to take my order at all. A risk my adventurous self was willing to take.

Yet, this is what I heard, "Welcome to McDonald's. May I take your order? I gave it ... and guess what? All the other cars behind me followed and the jammed parking lot became unjammed.

When I got to the window to pay, I asked the cashier what had happened. He responded, "I have no idea. People are dumb and just follow other people blindly."

As I drove away, I thought about it and agreed he was right ... people follow blindly out of fear or ignorance, but sometimes, they follow out of loyalty or love.

Are you a leader or follower? And if you're a follower...WHO do you follow?

As for me and my house, we will follow (serve) the Lord.

Perspective

Perspective is not everything... but it's important!

How we look at things and how we see them helps us form our attitudes and opinions.

Case in point. It's 36 degrees F outside. To most people, that's cold ...just above freezing, in fact. Yet, with the sun shining and my coat zipped up, I actually felt warm this afternoon while driving home. I unzipped, cracked my window and turned off my heater. I was actually shocked when I looked and saw that it was still only 36 degrees. Yet, compared to the sub-zero temps we've been experiencing much of this winter ... along with the brightly shining sun, it seemed warm. 

And I wasn't alone in this thought ... I passed a young man carrying his coat while walking along the side of the road ... in 36 degree weather, with snow and ice everywhere.

This photo says it all. I think we all need to occasionally tilt our head more often, especially when our perspective is off kilter. Perhaps our attitude needs adjusting. Maybe we've become a bit too complacent. Or maybe we're just a bit too spoiled. I know I'm guilty.

I've heard a lot of whining in my corner of the world about the weather--too much snow, too cold, too gray and yucky...

I personally tend to constantly whine about being "poor." Ha! I don't even know what poor is! But my head is tilted in the wrong direction sometimes, and I can only see the debt, bills, and lack of. Is this the legacy ... and mantra I am leaving for my children?

Where is your perspective skewed?

Let's tilt our heads, open our eyes, and SEE the blessings instead of the curses. Humm, the view is gorgeous!

Burned Finger

Well, I decided to post my burned finger story here vs. on Facebook because people have to seek out pics here vs being forced to look at them on FB. And many friends have wanted to hear...and yes, SEE the progress of the burn.

So, if you are squeamish, leave now...

What I can say I have gained from this experience is true empathy for burn victims. My little burn is so insignificant in comparison to many who have had much more extensive burns, yet my one finger has caused a lot of pain...and today, on day 10, it continues to hurt. Today, I worry a lot about spreading infection as I now have pain moving up my hand beyond the actual wound.

Here's the story...

On Sunday, March 24, the start of C & R's 2-week spring break and the last day I'd get to spend with them for 11 days, R requested that I make caramel popcorn as a special treat. I do it the old-fashioned way...I boil it on the stove top. I acquiesced, but I wanted her to watch so she could learn how to make it--not that I would ever let her work with boiling caramel yet, but so she'd know what went into it.

It was all complete when I used my left (or weaker) hand to hold the pan and my right hand to stir the caramel sauce as I poured it on the popcorn. Well, after a couple minutes of this, my weaker left hand was struggling to keep the pan upright, so I tried to adjust my grip as week bit. In the process, my left middle finger touched the side of the pan and burned the finger. This caused me to jump and...yep, pour the boiling caramel on my right hand/finger.

I thank God that not 30 seconds before this happened, I had asked Rachel to scoot back as the hot sauce could burn her badly if I spilled it.

Well, the rest is history as they say...here is my 10-day progress in pictures:

Day 1

Day 2

Day 3, 4 and 5--went to Dr.--2nd degree burns and infected. Got antibiotic.

Day 5-post bandage

Day 6--looking lots better, I thought

Day 7

Lost an entire layer of skin on day 9...
Day 10--swollen again and getting red (infected??) further up my hand, even away from the wound.

Survivor

I am a Survivor fan (actually, I enjoy most reality competition shows). I've watched Survivor every season since it started 26 seasons ago! Spoiler alert...if you're a fan and haven't watched last night's episode, stop reading. If you saw it or don't care, please continue.

All day, well on and off all day, I have thought about Brandon's meltdown. I was so mad at him last night, and I continued to slander him in my mind today. How could a guy who:

1. Had the opportunity of a lifetime, blow it through stupidity?
2. Had such a hard time on the first show come back and blow his second chance, not learning any lessons from the first time?
3. Claims to be a born-again Christian use such awful language and totally lose his cool, hurting the whole tribe in the process of his rant? What kind of testimony is that!?

So, this was my thought pattern for about 22 hours. Then, I was driving home from work, thinking about it again. I asked God why I was consumed with Survivor and Brandon in such a way. In that still small voice of His, I believe He said, "Because I have some lessons for you to learn from this, Susan."

Lessons from Survivor:

• God continually gives us second (and third and fourth...) chances when we make stupid choices. In His incredible grace, He forgives us and remembers no more.
• How many times have I read about the stupid Israelites in the desert and been frustrated at their lack of faith after God proved Himself faithful time and time again? Too many, I'm afraid.
• What do the words I say, the things I do say about me and my relationship to Christ? Is my testimony one that is a shining light or hummm, do people wonder if I am a believer or not? What about my actions behind closed doors? Am I showing my kids Jesus through my love, patience, goodness, faith, faithfulness, etc...?

That's it. I'm going to pray for Brandon. He is a real person. I'm not naive enough to know that there is drama, some acting, some creative editing, etc..., but those people that I peek in on each week are real people...real people who walk with Jesus, need Him, need His grace and forgiveness and need people to love them. I worry for Brandon's future. I'm going to pray for him.

Next post: Hopefully will not be coming in 8 months, but I am thinking about nursery rhymes and rocks...stay tuned.

I Will Trust Him ... Even If ...

As a catch-up for those who haven't heard or can't remember, I have been sick for about 8 years with issues related to pancreatitis. But for the past 7 months, I have experienced pain every day. The latest plan of action is to get my next blood tested again at the end of the month, then get the results on July 31 on a visit to my new endocrinologist. If my triglycerides are below 500 (they're supposed to be 150 or lower--mine have been more than 1000 since 2004, 1250 two months ago), I will be able to have the surgery that the surgeons think will be able to fix my problems and make the pain stop...at least it has worked for 60% of this surgeon's patients in the past. The problem is that they cannot know if that is even my problem...until they get in there.

Well, I have a track record with my numbers...they often go up and down with no rhyme or reason. In other words, once when I went on a pretty strict diet, was exercising and lost weight, my number went UP. After that, I said, "Well, forget that, I killed myself for nothing, so I'm doing whatever I want." Guess what happened? Yep, you guessed it. My numbers went down. My doctors have been so perplexed, frustrated, humbled, saying I'm an anomaly and a walking miracle.

So, as my lab date draws closer, I begin to fret, worry, be anxious, etc...God, what will I do IF my numbers don't go down...or even worse, they go up. I can't handle that. Or, what if my triglycerides do go below 500, I get the surgery, but they don't find the problem they think it is...they find nothing and my pain will continue. It means I have done all this for nothing. It means I gave up popcorn, potatoes, pasta, bread, fruit, candy and DIET COKE, etc...all for NOTHING! I've lost 22 lbs in 30 days, but for what if I can't have health and live without pain?

But then ... God spoke to me. He really spoke to me ... for the second time in this journey. The first time was telling me I had to give up the Diet Coke because it had become an idol in my life. He was right. I gave it up, and HE has helped me not to crave it or miss it at all.

This latest time, which was just a couple days ago, late one evening, was when I was in my whining, fretting mode...saying, "God, what if... What if my numbers don't go down? What if they can't figure out what is wrong with me? What if I never get better? Will I be able to trust You? Will I be able to go on living joyfully in the midst of daily pain?"

Then, clear as if He was sitting next to me, because basically He was, He said, "Trust me ... even if. Come to me, Susan. I adore you." Then, I knew that no matter what happens, I WILL be OK because He is with me, He loves me...even if I never find relief, I'll never walk this walk alone.

I don't know what people who have no faith, no Jesus in their lives do in these stormy times. I know I am holding on tightly ... for life...EVEN IF!